


Collection of Spencer Reid One-shots

by nocturness



Category: Criminal Minds, Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Dating, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Kissing, Love, Multi, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 12:21:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25849447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nocturness/pseuds/nocturness
Summary: Stories of you falling for Spencer Reid.
Relationships: Spencer Reid & You, Spencer Reid/Reader, Spencer Reid/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

# Memories 

We swarmed through the Boston Bomber’s - Hadeon Bela - home, our firearms still raised and on edge. But as SWAT cleared the entire apartment, I let my sidearm back into its holster and went around the scene, pulling on a pair of rubber gloves. The team left in separate directions. 

Hotch went towards the bedroom doors. JJ and Emily went towards the living room. Spencer and Rossi towards the kitchen, and Morgan after me. The first thing I noticed was that the apartment was remarkably clean, not even a speck on dust was on the table. 

“I wouldn’t be surprised if the unsub had OCD, all the signs are here,” I affirmed and walked towards the bookshelves, “Even the books are ordered by the author’s last name.” 

Spencer spoke from the kitchen, “He has jars of nitroglycerin, peroxide, silica, diatomaceous, aluminum powder, and many other components.” 

“Everything you need to make a bomb,” I muttered, “At least we know for sure we have the right guy.” I investigated the books for any notes, which took a while due to the unsub’s enormous collection. Behind me, Morgan was scaling the walls for anything hidden. Reaching the second bookshelf, on the second shelf, I drew out the second book, and instead of having the typewriter text like the other novels, there was an elegant scrawl with small drawings on the bottom pages. 

It was tough reading the pages, but it didn’t take me long to understand that this was a notebook, filled with observations of bomb-making. “You guys! I believe I have something here!” I swung around, the book in hand, and stood next to the dining table, while the others filed towards me curiously. 

I handed the book to Spencer since he would be able to read the entire text in seconds. 

Spencer gazed at the pages, flipping them every five seconds, while we all watched him expectedly. Once he made it halfway, he spoke, “It’s full of the production process, how to use the aluminum powder as a stabilizer, and how to mix the sawdust, nitroglycerin, and silica to create a batch of TNT. There are journal entries of plans on where he decided to target, looks like he’s experimenting with different kinds.” 

JJ and I shared a look of sudden understanding, and I cleared my throat, “Spencer, flip to the back.” 

He obliged and from the journal out loud, “I’ll be attempting a pipe bomb on Perdere, I believe it could be my greatest achievement yet, hopefully from my view, I could get a glimpse of the fright. Several things could go awry. I read in the paper that the FBI was on the case.” 

Morgan fished out his phone from his pocket and dialed a number, “Hey baby girl, I need you to do something for me. Can you get the coordinates for Perdere road, street, circle, drive, whatever you can get, and search around the area for a building that is tall enough to overlook it? Thanks.” 

Our phones pinged not a moment later with two sets of coordinates, and we clambered outside to race to the destination. I sat in the back with Spencer since, presumably, my driving skills were “unsafe.” Have they not seen Morgan drive? It’s like a roller coaster in itself. 

The air in the car was tense as Hotch made plans over the phone. In the end, it was to split up between two groups, one would head over to Perdere Avenue, while the others would confront Hadeon Bela on top of the parking garage. Spencer, Hotch, Emily, and I, were going to the street to help the police evacuate the buildings. 

“Hey, Spence,” I nudged him gently. He hummed in response and glanced away from the window and towards me. “You are the bomb,” chuckling under my breath. I heard Hotch groan. “Yeah. That was terrible…” I said, faltering. Spencer snorted, causing me to perk back up. 

“You have an explosive sense of humor,” he said. I gaped at him. Did he just make a pun? He smiled innocently at me, causing my jaw to drop further. 

Emily turned around to look at us, “That was pretty mind-blowing, Reid.” 

“Oh god,” Hotch muttered, “have mercy.” 

The three of us broke into a laugh, beaming despite the severe case we were on. Hotch pulled up near a bank, with some trouble with traffic. Getting out, the streets were crowded with police officers that were assisting citizens out of the surrounding buildings.

“Okay, you three, let’s focus on this case and not blow it,” Hotch began walking away with a sly smile leaving Emily, Spencer, and me to snicker like little kids behind him. 

We worked together cooperatively with the rest of the residents, who shuffling out of the building as quickly as possible. None of us knew what was going on with the others, who were most likely at the parking garage, so it was imperative that we get everyone out.

“I think we have everyone,” Captain Mannock told us, “The buildings within a three-mile radius should be empty too.” 

Emily nodded, “Okay, we can begin evacuating the officers. I don’t know what the others are doing right now, so we have to move swiftly.” 

Mannock worked quickly to tell the first-responders to get going. Emily, Hotch, Spencer, and I headed back towards the van, but when I looked back, a small boy with red eyes emerged from behind the bank pillar. The police on the scene didn’t seem to notice the child as it started weeping. 

Having a job with the BAU was risky. You never know if you would make it out from a day alive. I didn’t know whether the others have gotten to the unsub, but joining the team meant making sacrifices to help the good of the people. Making a decision, I abandoned my place next to Spencer and ran towards the bank, reaching out for the child. 

There was another set of footsteps following after me, and Spencer’s voice was heard behind me “(Y/N)!”

The young boy looked up at me with wide eyes, and I ushered him towards the officers. With a bit of hesitation, the boy ran towards the nearest officer who picked him up. Feeling pleased, I too started walking back. 

“You can’t just run off like that!” Spencer chided. I crossed my arms and opened my mouth to speak - 

But the ground suddenly quaked underneath my feet, and a thunderous boom filled my ears, on instinct, I ducked down putting my hands above my head. A body was abruptly on top mine, a pair of arms wrapped around me. Screams were the only thing that could be heard. Then the body on top mine lurched forward, causing me to tumble back onto the ground as debris scattered on my face. My head hit the concrete, I yelled out, and my ears began to ring.

The weight that was on me was lifted, and my arms scraped against the road, pain jolted through my body. 

The vibrations died down to a siren wailing in the distance and panicked voices. My head throbbed as I struggled to open my eyes to look at the blue sky above. Blinking, I opened my eyes once more to see a figure over me shaking my shoulders gently. 

Slowly, Emily’s blurry face came into view “(Y/N), can you hear me?” I groaned out in response, bringing a trembling arm to my forehead. Emily removed her hands from my shoulders, “I’m going to take that as a yes. Can you sit up?” 

Doing my best, I hauled myself up, it took a few tries, but Emily helped by putting a hand on my back. Spots danced around my vision as the blurriness gradually went away. “What happened?” I asked, kneading my forehead with my knuckles. 

“Explosion. It turns out the bomb was rigged to explode at a certain time.” 

Looking around, the bank was in ruins, large pieces of the building were scattered around the road, and the roof the bank was nearly destroyed. “Is everyone okay?” I glanced at her, she shuffled her crouched position to block my view, “Yeah, some of the responders got hit with some stray debris, their mostly okay, and luckily, Hotch and I were far away from the explosion.” 

I tried to peek behind her, but yet again she moved so I couldn’t see anything. Was Emily trying to cover something? “Em, what are you trying to hide? I’m not an idiot, you know, I can tell your doing something.” 

I saw her gulp, look down to the floor, and then gaze into my eyes, “It would be better if you didn’t see.” Running out of patience, I forced her out of the way, she stood firm but moved just enough for me to glimpse behind her. 

Two paramedics and Hotch were crowded around a limp body, the face hidden, but blood was pooling out around the head. It can’t be. It can’t be Spencer, could it? Why else would Hotch be there? Another paramedic came over with a gurney, and my question was answered. The paramedic moved out of the way revealing Spencer’s unreadable face, and I gasped. They carried him up to the stretcher and into the ambulance. Hotch stood back up and rubbed his mouth. I noticed Derek rush towards him with a frightened look.

“No, no, no. Spencer,” I stared at the ambulance with wide eyes, “This is my fault, isn’t it? If I hadn’t - “

Emily cut me off and came back into my view, “(Y/N), listen to me. It is not your fault.” I shook my head in retaliation and hid my face in my hands. Emily continued talking and brought me to a hug, “Don’t blame yourself. He’ll be okay, I know it.” 

Her words brought no reassurance as tears began pricking my eyes. 

During the next few days, I visited Spencer only once in the hospital, the day before he woke up. I had felt so guilty after seeing him unconscious in the hospital bed, that I didn’t want to think about what I would feel seeing him awake. 

Spencer stayed in my mind the next day as I tried to read, ignoring my phone as it pinged. With the constant distraction, I gave up on trying to read and checked my phone. Twelve missed calls from Derek. Five missed calls from Penny. Seven missed calls from JJ. 

Then, I got another call from Derek, which this time, I answered, “What is so important that you had to call me 12 times?” 

Derek spoke, his voice full of panic, “Finally, I need you to get to the hospital right now.” 

“Is Spencer okay?” I inquired, sitting up straighter in my seat. 

Derek spoke, “He’s awake, but there’s something else, I’ll explain when you get here, just come asap, it’s important,” A beep indicated Derek hung up, and I angrily stuffed my phone into my pocket due to the lack of answers. I grabbed my car keys from the kitchen counter and left out the door.

Driving over to the hospital, my mind raced with the endless possibilities that could’ve happened. Was the brain injury worse than they thought? Is he in surgery? I honked furiously on my car horn. There was no time for traffic. 

Arriving at the hospital, I hurried to the elevator and pressed the button to the third floor where I last saw him. With my heart pounding with nervousness, I signed in at the reception center and searched the halls for Spencer’s room. 

I found Derek waiting outside the room, he heard my footsteps and turned towards me. “Derek, what’s going on?” Derek placed his hand on the door, “Before we go in, I need you to play along.” 

“What are you talking about?” I huffed, getting more impatient with every passing moment. Derek pushed open the door to expose Spencer, sitting up in a hospital bed pouting, with Penelope and JJ next to him. “Well, this is difficult to say, but Spencer thinks -” 

Derek was cut off by Spencer’s cheerful voice, “There you are, sweetheart! I was wondering where you were! I’ve been waiting for you to come forever.” I narrowed my eyes, sweetheart? Turning back to Derek, he pursed his lips and pushed me forward lightly. Play along, Derek had said. Wait, did Spencer think we’re dating? 

A blush crept up my neck at the likelihood, and I walked towards the side of his bed, trembling slightly, “Er - Hi Spencer. Sorry I was held up by traffic.” 

“As long as you’re here now,” he smiled and reached out for my hand that was lying on top of his bed-sheet. Flinching at the unexpected contact, I pulled my hand out from under him, causing him to furrow his brows. I looked up to Penelope and JJ, who both gave me looks of support.

“Are you mad at me?” he questioned, making me look back at him. I didn’t respond for a few moments, unsure what to say, “You made me worry when Derek forced me to come here abruptly.” I let out a sigh of relief when it seemed like he accepted my answer. 

Penelope broke the silence and pushed up her glasses, “Why don’t we get you packed up and out of here?” JJ nodded hastily, rubbing Spencer’s knee, “Yeah, you’ve been cooped up in here for too long.” Trying to come to my senses, I started to head out the door, brushing my face with my hands. 

“Where are you going?” Spencer called out towards me. I spun around, “I just need a breather Spence, I’ll be back.” Derek joined me back in the hallway, looking apologetic. 

“So he has confabulation?” I hissed quietly, “Why didn’t you tell me on the phone call?” 

Derek placed his hands on his hips, “He wouldn’t stop asking for you. Seriously, he wouldn’t stop asking for you. I knew if I told you, there was a chance you wouldn’t come.” 

I rolled my eyes, “So what am I supposed to do? Pretend that we’re dating until his memory fixes himself?”

“Well yeah,” Derek shrugged, and I scoffed, “The doctor says it’s best to go along and help him that way.”

“Derek, I don’t know if I can do that,” I murmured. He placed his hands on the side of my arms, “I know it’ll be hard. But try, try for Spencer.” 

I looked into his brown eyes, filled with hope and desperation, and caved. “Fine, okay,” I finally answered, exasperated. He gave me a small smile, “Thank you.”

“Of course.” We shuffled back into the room where Spencer was now dressed and standing up beside his bed. JJ held a gym bag in her hands. He noticed my presence quickly and ushered me towards him, which I obliged hesitantly. I flushed as he took my hand in his, still a bit startled at the sudden physical contact. 

After speaking to the doctor, I stood stiff beside Spencer as we headed out of the hospital and into the parking lot. 

“So, are we going to your place?” Spencer asked, swinging our hands back and forth. Gritting my teeth, I forced an answer, “Uh, yeah, we are.” Spencer grinned, and I handed him my keys, forcing my hand out of his, “Here, get in the car, I need to talk to Penelope and JJ for a second.” Nodding, he set off, Derek trailed after him. 

Penelope and JJ stood by their vehicle, which was parked next to each other, waiting for me like they knew I would come, and I looked at them with pleading eyes, “I have no idea what I’m doing, help me please.” 

“Hey, it’ll be okay. We’ll be here to help you if you need it,” JJ comforted me, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. 

Penelope nodded and smiled at me, “JJ’s right, you’re not going through this alone, you have us, Emily, Derek, everyone.” 

“Oh, agreeing to do this is such a bad idea,” I grumbled, shaking my head. “There’s nothing to be guilty of,” Penelope assured. I looked at her doubtfully, “I’m slowly starting to come to terms with that, but this ‘fake dating,’ it feels like a fanfiction.” 

JJ snorted, “Imagine if this was a fanfiction. That’s weird to think about.” We chuckled among ourselves. 

“I can imagine how hard it’ll be, with your feelings and all,” Penelope said after our laughs died down. I rubbed my neck sheepishly. 

“I hate to cut this small meeting short, but I have to go back home, Emily is feeling cranky today,” JJ let out an amused smile, “If you need anything just call, okay?” 

I nodded, “Yeah, I know.” Penelope rubbed my arm and left to get into her car. After watching them leave, I went back to mine. Spencer was sitting in the passenger seat while Derek was leaning against its side, chatting with him. Noticing me, Derek said a good-bye to Spencer and walked towards me. 

Derek murmured in my ear before he wandered off, “Good Luck.” 

Sighing, I climbed into the driver’s side and held out my hand so Spencer could give me my keys. When I felt nothing, I stared at him, confused, while he looked back suspiciously. 

“Are you sure you want to be driving?” he asked, clutching my keys in his hands tightly. I leaned back in my chair, annoyed, “That was one time! Seriously!” He raised his eyebrows, “You almost got us killed before we could catch the unsub.” 

I smiled cheekily at him, “But we got them in the end, didn’t we?” Spencer let out a breath, shaking his head disappointingly and handed me my keys. “Thank you,” I said, snatching it from his fingers. 

“What do you remember?” I asked him, turning left onto a street. He fiddled with his fingers, “I remember some things. When I try to think of something specific, it takes me longer than usual.” 

“So, you’re basically turning into me,” I chuckled and relaxed as I reached a stoplight. “I recall everything from our relationship, though,” Spencer said and reached out for my hand once more. I swallowed thickly, “That’s good.” 

The rest of the ride was silent, and we continued in the quietness as we entered my apartment. I walked over to the kitchen and dropped Spencer’s gym bag onto the counter. He stood beside me, “Thanks for agreeing to take care of me, but I don’t want to be a burden, so if you need me to do anything, just ask.” 

I waved him off, dismissively, “You could never be a burden, Spence.” He smiled cheerfully and began to lean in towards me. I started to panic and placed a hand on his chest, pushing him back. He looked back at me with hurt, and I suddenly felt guilty again, “I think I should give you some space. I don’t want to rush into things.”

There was a long period of quiet before I cleared my throat.

“Okay, why don’t we get you settled in the guest room,” I muttered awkwardly, breaking the silence. I grabbed his bag, brushed past him, and went down the hall, Spencer trailing after me still looking hurt. 

Was it wrong that a part of me wished that I hadn’t stopped him?

~

Due to his head injury, Hotch had given Spencer two weeks off to recover, and since I was his primary caretaker, I was also given two weeks off. I tried to convince Hotch that I had a job to do, but he kept insisting. So here I was, trying to bake while Spencer tried his best to remember his past and spouting random facts. 

“I graduated high school when I was twelve, right? Or was it eleven?” he helped me measure and pour flour into a bowl. “Twelve,” I replied shortly, trying to find the salt, “You’re doing great. Why don’t you mix that?” Handing Spencer a bowl of water and a spatula, he starting mixing. “Our brain capacity is actually limitless. A popular myth was that we only use ten percent of our brain. But actually, all of it is active most of the time. Hey, I remembered that!” 

I began making another batch of dough, “Congrats. How do you explain my bad memory then?” Spencer paused his mixing to think for a moment, a few seconds later, he resumed, “It’s most likely because you weren’t paying attention to the memory in the first place. But there could be other problems, like lack of sleep, stress, or depression.” 

“Hmm. Interesting.” I replied, starting to combine the ingredients. After the dough was thoroughly mixed, I helped Spencer flour the counter and scrape the dough onto it. “I’ve never baked before,” he confessed, flouring his hands. “You’re doing great so far,” I replied, smiling at him. 

He poked the dough that was now deflating, “How do you knead dough? I don’t exactly read recipe books.” 

“You want to push it down and outwards, then fold it,” I demonstrated on the dough in front of me. Spencer watched curiously before attempting it himself. He grimaced when the dough began sticking to his fingers. I chuckled softly, “Here, let me help.” 

I stepped closer towards Spencer and dusted the dough with more flour. “Put your hands here and knead it forward,” I explained, grabbing his hands and placing them onto the dough. 

Soon, he got the hang of it, and I beamed at him. Realizing how close we were, I took a step back and continued on my dough. 

“Remember that Redskins game?” Spencer asked suddenly.

I raised my eyebrows, “You remember that?” 

“Of course I do. It was supposed to be a date. But, you ended up inviting JJ and Garcia.” The detail made me wince. Well, that was the first time I heard about this, “Oh, I didn’t know that I’m sorry.” 

Spencer started laughing and gave me a side-look, “It’s fine. I still got to spend time with you.” I felt my heart begin to race, and I had to stop and remind myself that no matter how real it seemed, this was all fake. 

There was a small silence before I wiped my floury hands on my apron, “Why don’t we go out today? Now feel bad about the Redskins game.” 

He looked at me brightly, “Really?” 

“Yeah,” I smiled back, and picked up the lump of dough in front of me and placed it back into the bowl, “Just let me proof the dough.” 

Spencer plucked my bread bowl out of my hands and into his, “Why don’t I do that, and you get cleaned up?” He pressed his lips on top of my head and placed the bowl down in front of him.

Flushing, I suddenly forgot how to untie my apron behind me, fiddling with the cloth with no avail. Spencer chuckled and stepped behind me to assist, while I cleared my throat and looked ahead awkwardly. I muttered a thanks and hung the apron on the wall before stalking off into my room to change.

When I had told Spencer my plans, he had tried to talk me out of it. But, since my job takes up most of my schedule, I decided to take this time to go out and so something I haven’t been able to. Even when I did have the day off, I was too tired actually to do anything. After telling him that this would be a fun new experience, Spencer eventually caved and agreed. 

“This was not what I had in mind when you said to go out,” Spencer grumbled, his arms crossed. I rubbed my hands together and looked up, “I’ve always wanted to go indoor rock climbing.” 

Spencer stared at me skeptically and gulped, “Are you sure this is safe? And why is it so tall?” 

I patted him on the back, “It wouldn’t be fun if there weren’t a little bit of danger. Plus, we have our safety ropes, so if you fall, it’s basically like skydiving without a parachute.” He scoffed and clipped on the rope, “I’m going to fall, aren’t I?”

“If you can solve murders and catch unsubs, I’m sure you can rock climb,” I smiled at him reassuringly and started scaling the wall. Spencer took in some breaths before joining. 

The wall was suddenly a lot taller as I kept my hold on a bight yellow ledge. It seemed to be hundreds of feet instead of fifty. To my shock, Spencer climbed quickly, a vein popping out from his forehead, and he licked his lips. Once he made it slightly above me, he gave me a cheeky grin causing me to gape at him. Soon, he was wholly focused as he scaled the wall higher and higher. Did Spencer have a secret talent in rock climbing? 

Shortly, he was a few feet above me, and I scurried to catch up, ignoring the pain starting in my arms. Spencer maneuvered the wall expertly, moving left and right to get higher. I was the total opposite. I often struggled to find another rock to hold onto. 

Looking up after a few minutes, I saw Spencer smiling down to me, his face a bit flushed. I hauled myself up higher, while he said words of encouragement. He reached out his hands once I came into reach, and I appreciatively took it. Spencer pulled me up into the ledge, and I collapsed on top of it. 

“How did you finished so fast?” I said, out of breath, standing up. He stared proudly at me, “When I was on the ground, I memorized all the routes and the easiest one to climb.” 

We stood there on the top of the wall, gazing at the high view. I wiped my forehead, “How do we get down now? Do we - jump?” Spencer peered down below and looked a bit horrified at the thought, “Why don’t we stay up here a little longer?”

He took my hand in mine and sat down, taking me with him. Our legs dangled over the ledge, and I felt myself lean in closer towards Spencer. I felt his eyes on me as he spoke, “Thank you for helping me, I’m really lucky to have you beside me.” 

I turned to look at him, “It’s no problem, Spence. Really, it isn’t.” He beamed, and before I could do anything, he pressed his lips onto mine. He moved a hand to my cheek, touching it gently with his fingers. And this time, I didn’t hold him back. 

That night I laid in bed, a phone to my ear as I spoke to Emily, JJ, and Penelope. I pressed a palm to my forehead, “Oh god, I kissed him.”

“Wow,” Emily said, “That’s - new.” 

“I didn’t even try to stop him. Was that a bad thing to do? It seems like a bad idea,” I flipped over to my side and hugged a pillow. 

“Look at the bright side, at least you got to kiss Spencer,” JJ chirped, I could see her reassuring smile from here. “He’s going to realize that all of those memories are all fake and everything is going to be awkward between us, and argh,” I groaned out, I was starting to have a headache from all of this complicated mess. 

Penelope’s voice suddenly spoke up, “If he ends up becoming distant with you after all of that, then shame on him for not liking the amazing person that is you.” I chuckled then said quietly, “He is remembering things quicker than he was before; it’s only a matter of time now.” 

Spencer, in the next few days, had gotten the habit of kissing me whenever he thinks he can. When we’re watching Star Wars, reading together, baking, and when he made improvements in his memory. Our two-week break was nearly over and soon we would be back to work. 

There were two days left before we both needed to get back to the BAU. When Spencer realized this, he was glued to my side, spend each moment with me. Today, we decide to binge the modern doctor who. “Did you know there’s an asteroid named after the Tardis? 3325 Tardis a dark Alauda asteroid, discovered May 3rd, 1984,” he said, his eyes on the television in front of him. 

“That’s fun,” I replied, watching the tenth doctor move around the screen, “How much do you remember now?” 

“I’m not sure, but I think almost everything,” he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I felt my heart drop, has he realized some of his memories are bogus? I sighed and reached up to remove Spencer’s arm around me. He looked at me questioningly. 

I was hesitant to start speaking, “Spencer, I think it’s time for you to move back into your apartment.” He furrowed his brows and looked confused, “What? Why?” I avoided his gaze and looked down to my hands, “We have work soon, and I think it’s best to give each other space.” 

“Work?” Spencer repeated, “You want space because of work?” 

Even to me, that was a horrible excuse. “I want to focus on the cases,” I told him. Spencer ran a hand through his hair and stood up, his expression unreadable, “Okay. If you want space, then I’ll give you space.” 

My heart broke as I watched him go into the guest room, and shuffle to the door. He turned around and gazed at me, his eyes were hurt and confused, and he spun back around and closed the door behind him. When he left, I suddenly yearned for his warm presence once more. 

“How are you feeling?” Penelope asked me two days after I came back to work. I sat on top of my desk, sipping my coffee. “I’m doing fine so far,” sighing, I continued talking, “You know, it feels weird, to not have him next to me anymore.” 

We didn’t talk about the situation when I first came back into work. I think everyone knew I didn’t feel like talking about it.

Penelope gave me a knowing look, “You’ll get through it. I know you will, you’re the strongest person I know.” 

“Thanks,” I gave her a grateful smile. JJ and Emily pulled up next to us, walking hand in hand. “You guys are looking happy,” I observed, and placed down my coffee cup. 

They gave each other a look. Emily stared at me, “We went out yesterday - but enough about us, how are you holding up?” Penelope answered them for me “(Y/N) really misses Spencer.” JJ grimaced, “That must feel terrible.”

I nodded glumly, “Yeah, it does. But I’ll get through.” I peered behind me, where Spencer was writing on a newspaper, most likely a word search. His back was towards me, so he couldn’t tell that I was staring at him.

Spencer seemed to be in his own little world whenever I saw him at work. During our first case back, he was much quieter, only speaking when he needed to. Everyone saw this change in him, and the only one to ask him about it was Derek. When Penelope asked him what they talked about, Derek refused to tell her anything. 

Hotch came out of his office and into the bullpen, and we all scrambled back into our desk chairs. “Meet in the briefing room, we have a case.” 

When Hotch paired us together to stay at the Little Rock police station, I instantly noticed the tense air that was around us. This was the thing I was afraid of. I mentally hit myself while shuffling through files. Why did I agree to help Spencer like that? Now our friendship is shattered into pieces. What do I say to fix it?

It’s not like I could just go up with him and pretend that nothing happened. If I told him that we needed to move past it, knowing Spencer, things would still be awkward. There wasn’t much I could do. Maybe I should just let time deal with it. 

After the case was solved, we flew back to Virginia at nighttime, all tired. Due to my luck, the good seats were taken, and I was forced to sit in front of Spencer. I furrowed my brows when he didn’t even bother to acknowledge me. At least at the station, he said a few words. I shuffled in my seat, uncomfortably. The whole flight home was an awkward mess, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get to sleep. 

But, in a blink of an eye, I was back home and collapsed on my bed. The next day was Saturday, arguably, one of my favorites days of the week. Weekends are my day off, sometimes I still had to go into work, but that was rare. Since there was no call from the others, it was safe to assume that I would get the whole day to rest. 

Due to my slightly lazy nature, I stayed in bed for the whole morning, by the time I decided to get up, it was half-past eleven. My moves were sluggish as I proceeded to the kitchen to brew my morning coffee to start my day. I turned on the television to watch my favorite morning show while I cooked breakfast. 

While I may be a good baker, my cooking skills weren’t the best. Though, I like to think I can make a pretty good pile of pancakes though. When Spencer had been staying with me, it was one of the only things we ate in the morning. 

I glanced around the apartment while I put my pancakes onto a plate and finished a cup of coffee. The home was suddenly less, ‘homey’ without him here. I shook the thought from my head and sighed. I shouldn’t be feeling like this. It was something I knew would happen when I agreed to this fake-dating plot. 

Before I could bring myself to the couch and knock on the door interrupted me. I cautiously opened the door to see the one person I was never expecting to see.

“Spence, what are you doing here?” I asked, looking at him with raised brows. “I wanted to see you,” he confessed and gazed at the floor. I was taken aback, “Your memory is back, isn’t it? You must know what we had was fake.” 

I mentally scolded myself for saying that last part. What if he just came here as friends?

Spencer looked at me with disbelief and spoke quietly, “It wasn’t fake for me. I - I knew those memories were false awhile ago.” 

“You knew?” I gasped, and my grip on the door tightened. Spencer nodded and looked around before speaking again, “Why did you push me away?” 

I sighed, “Spencer -” 

“No, tell me. I don’t understand, help me understand,” Spencer pleaded with me and stepped closer. I moved back, and my hand fell to my side. “I was scared okay?” I gazed into his curious brown eyes, “I was scared that when you would remember, and I would just be another person in your life again, nothing more.”

“You thought I didn’t want to be with you?” His voice was breathy like he couldn’t believe that I had just said that. I stayed silent, unable to utter a word. Spencer continued talking, “I’ve liked you for, for - years!” 

My eyes widened, and my breath hitched, “You have?” 

He responded shyly, “Just never dared to say anything.” I closed my eyes for a moment, taking in all this new information. There was absolutely no indication Spencer was ever interested in me or was I just that oblivious? 

“So you’re saying that you, Spencer Reid, have been interested in me for years?” I repeated. Spencer nodded, “Yeah, basically.” I turned around on my heel and went towards the kitchen. 

“Wait, what are you doing?” he followed after me and stood beside me. I poured the rest of my coffee into a mug and chugged it, “I think I’m going to need some energy to understand this.” Spencer stared at me weirdly - which is gold for someone who used to drink five cups a day - before shaking his head, “Were your feelings real?” 

I laid my mug down and evaded his gaze. “They were,” I murmured. He gently turned me, so I had to look at him and held my hand. Leaning in, he gave me a chaste kiss and asked softly, “Would you like to go on a date with me?” 

There was a moment of stillness, but I knew exactly what I wanted to say. “I’d love that.” I placed a hand on the back of Spencer’s head and pulled him closer to put my lips on his once more.


	2. Can I Have This Dance?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes a small dance can lead into something more.

I had absolutely no idea that ballroom parties were still a thing that happened. In my mind, I thought it only happened in the past and in TV shows. But apparently, wealthy New Yorkers still enjoy the occasional ball once in a while. 

The whole team was invited by the prestigious, Vandemills family on the Upper East Side. Their family was terrorized by a killer, and after we solved the case - with much trouble - they decided to repay us by inviting us to their annual ball. Hotch attempted to talk them out of it, but they kept insisting, so now, Penelope, JJ, Emily, and I ultimately found ourselves window shopping for something to wear. It’s not like we go to a fancy dance every week. 

Finding a decent priced dress was harder than it looked like. We have been going in and out of stores for hours looking for something in our price range. Suddenly, an extended arm stopped me in my tracks, I stared at Penelope questioningly. “What about here? It doesn’t look that expensive.” We all looked to our side to see a modern storefront with mannequins dressed in impressive-looking gowns and tuxedos.

“That dress does look nice,” JJ gazed longingly a red dress on display, “It wouldn’t hurt to look.” Penelope cheered and we flooded into the store excitement buzzing in the air. One of the employees greeted us happily and pointed us over to the dresses. The store was definitely more on the fancy one, with bright chandeliers, marble floors, and leather seats. There were rows of hangers and mannequins showing off the latest fashion. 

I looked through the catalog of gowns, unsure of which to choose. JJ and Emily were having fun pulling dresses off the racks and Penelope was across from me trying to find a unique looking dress.

There were so many options I was overwhelmed. Dresses came from every single color known to man. I wasn’t used to doing anything fancy, the most formal thing I’ve done is go to a wedding, and that was a while ago. And I didn’t often go dress shopping and didn’t wear dresses in general. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. 

I removed a green gown from the hanger, “What do you think of this one?” Penelope looked up from her shopping and analyzed the dress. She made up her mind a few moments later, “I don’t think that color fits you very well.” Penelope ran her fingers through the rack and held up a pale-colored dress, “Let’s try this one.” She checked the price tag and gave an approving nod and handed it to me from over the rack. 

“Maybe I should just wear one of my jumpsuits,” Emily murmured, “At least I know I look good in them.” JJ looked at Emily with raised eyebrows. Emily looked at her girlfriend and shrugged, “I haven’t been to an elegant ball since I was a girl, I guess for a day wouldn’t hurt.” 

“You’ll look amazing,” JJ stated, planting a kiss to Emily’s cheek, “I already have some options for you.” She handed Emily a few different colored gowns. 

I smiled at the two of them and sighed wistfully. Sometimes I was jealous of their relationship, not because they were together, but because it’s been years since I had last dated anyone. My last relationship ended terribly because they just had to cheat. It wasn’t my fault my job needed me. But still, I found myself missing the cuddles and the forehead kisses.

Maybe one day I’ll have that again, I just have to accept that my attraction to a certain Spencer would go nowhere. It doesn’t seem like he shared the same feelings anyways. 

Together, all of us walked towards the changing rooms to try the outfits on. Penelope went first, coming out with a knee-length pink dress, with flowers adorning all over the skirt. All of us ‘oohed’ when we saw her. Penelope looked utterly beautiful on it.

“I’m in love with that color,” I said admiringly, “It suits you.” Penelope did a twirl, showing off all the angles. JJ sat up straighter, “Those flowers are so adorable.” 

Penelope mimicked wiping sweat off her forehead, “Phew! I was worried if this was a good choice or not. I really liked it nevertheless.” Emily grinned slyly, “So are you saying yes to the dress?” Penelope agreed happily while we all applauded, JJ pumped her fists in the air. Penelope changed back before gliding to the seats, and Emily got up with slight hesitation. 

Not a moment later, Emily came out wearing a fire-engine red dress that was sure to take the spotlight. A wolf-whistle escaped JJ’s lips. Emily stood nervously watching all of our reactions.

“Oh my gosh, you look gorgeous!” Penelope breathed, bring a hand to her mouth, “It looks like you’re about to rule a country.” I nodded, “The color looks astonishing on you! Like wow!” A sigh of relief left Emily. 

“Do you think this is the one?” Emily asked, fluffing out the skirt. JJ spoke back immediately, “Oh definitely.” A grin broke out on Emily’s face. 

“Are you saying yes to the dress?” Penelope said expectantly. There was a moment of silence before Emily answered, “Yes!” Another round of cheers passed through us and Emily laughed. JJ raised her hand and stood up, “I’ll go next!” She went towards the changing room as Emily came out in her casual clothes, looking pleased. 

JJ glided out with a poofy off the shoulder lilac-blue dress, I could see Emily jaw drop at the beauty of her girlfriend. Penelope gasped, “Woah, you look like a hotter version of Cinderella.” JJ chuckled and did a curtsy, “Guess what, this dress is only 150 dollars.” She seemed satisfied at the price and her choice of gown, and didn’t even wait to say, “I’m saying yes to this dress.” 

We all giggled, and after JJ finished changing, I gathered the gown at my side to change into it. In the changing room, I dressed as quickly as I could to refrain from the others from waiting too long. It reached all the way to my toes with its silky texture. Not going to lie, it looked good. It made me feel like actual royalty. If only I had a crown. 

I strolled out back into the open and watched everyone’s expression as I emerged. A grin broke out on all of them and I felt my shoulders relax. At least they like it. “You. Look. Amazing,” JJ breathed. Penelope nodded, speechless. 

“That’s totally the dress, no question,” Emily stated, her head bobbing up and down. Finding her voice Penelope spoke up, “People are so going to line up to dance with you.” I glanced at myself in the mirror and smiled at my reflection. If I looked closer, I did look really good in the dress, but I could just be biased against myself. 

“There’s just one thing left to ask,” Emily’s voice made me turn around, “Are you saying yes to this dress?” I grinned, “Yes!” Cheers erupted from all of us, as I retreated back into the changing room. A smile was still evident on my face.

We were all quite satisfied with our choices, and after the mini fashion show, I couldn’t seem to stop beaming. The dresses were drop-dead gorgeous and at a decent price. The most important thing to keep in mind. Chatting happily, we all carried our new clothes towards the register to pay for them. 

Crossing the dress section and to the register, I glanced at the tuxedo area, just to see Derek and Spencer arguing over a few suits. My eyebrows raised in surprise, what were the chances that they would be in the same store as us? I nudged Penelope from the cashier and pointed towards the boys. She chuckled and got Emily and JJ’s attention. 

“Spencer!” I called out to him, prompting Derek and Spencer to glance up from their bickering. With my dress in hand, I traversed the store to reach them with the others following after me. JJ looked at the many blazers that were in their hands, “Wow. Which one are you guys going to get?”

Derek put back some of the suits and held up a linen blazer, “I’m not buying for me, I already have plenty of suits. We’re buying for pretty boy here. Apparently, he doesn’t have a proper suit in his wardrobe.”

Emily tilted her head quizzically, “Couldn’t you just give Spencer one of your suits?” Derek laughed and patted Spencer’s back, “My suits are too big for him.” Emily and JJ snicker quietly from beside me. 

My eyes hovered over the tuxes in their hands and reached out for a classic black one, “I think you would look best in this one.” I gently shoved it into Spencer’s hands, he took it hesitantly and gazed at it. 

“Timeless,” Penelope agreed, nudging me knowingly. I rolled my eyes playfully. JJ and Emily nodded at Penelope’s statement. “Try not to wear a tie with it,” JJ added, “I have a feeling it will make you look more handsome.” 

Spencer grew a bit red, pursed his lips uncertainty, and peered into my eyes, “Are you sure?” I smiled at him reassuringly, “You’ll look good with whatever you’re wearing Spence, no need to worry.” He looked down at the suit in his hands, “I guess I’ll wear this then.” Spencer peered at Morgan who gave him a nod.

Getting ready for the ball was definitely the most tiring part of the day. All the girls were gathered in my room to change and we often got distracted. But in the end, we achieved our goal and eventually go into our dresses. 

Emily settled on an up-do hairstyle, with a diamond clip. Honestly, she looked absolutely stunning and JJ kept giving Emily approving looks. If Emily ever quits the BAU, she could definitely be a model. Penelope had a classy look but still maintained her playful personality. She wore a simple headband and went with subtle makeup that went perfectly with her dress. JJ’s hair cascaded down her shoulders in beautiful waves, and her blue eyes match wonderfully with her dress. I was amazed at how she could look so effortlessly striking. 

We met up with the others in the lobby of the event at six. Hotch and Rossi went to chat with the family, while the rest of us gathered up together. 

Spencer waved at me as I went up to him. I smiled at him and clutched my hands together, “You look great! I knew the suit would look good on you.” Spencer did look amazing, I had to refrain from staring at him for too long. He wore the black blazer that I had recommended, and without a tie. His hair was now more controlled but was still curly. The top button of his dress shirt was unbuttoned, and I immediately knew it was probably Derek’s idea. 

“Erm, you look beautiful, too,” Spencer shuffled his feet, looking over my outfit. I smiled at his words and blushed, “Thanks, it took a long time to find something nice.” 

“It was a good choice,” he placed his hands into his pockets, “You really do look great.” 

I fiddled with a piece of fabric on the gown, “You flatter me.” Spencer chuckled, “Are you planning on dancing?” I pursed my lips and looked to the side, “Uh, well, maybe. Not exactly the dancer type.” 

“Well, save me a dance?” he looked into my eyes and my heart fluttered. I didn’t know why at times, but Spencer can easily make me heat up with just a simple sentence. “Definitely.” 

Silence pressed on us as we continued to gaze at each other. “You gotta get over here!” Penelope’s voice shook us from our daze. Turning towards Penelope, she was laughing hysterically and gesturing towards Derek and Emily who were both having a dance-off.

I excused myself from Spencer and headed over next to her. JJ was cheering on Emily, “Beat his butt Em!” 

“What was going on back there?” Penelope asked in between laughs. “Oh we were just talking,” I crossed my arms and watched as Derek did the scuba diver. Penelope glanced over to me with a raised eyebrow, “Sure..” 

I turned to look over my shoulder, to see if Spencer was heading over. But, looks like the daughter of the Vandermills family was getting a bit cozy against him, batting her eyelashes, Spencer was awkwardly talking to her, stepping to the side to give them distance. I had a sudden urge to shove her off, did that sound mean? Probably. 

~

The ballroom was the one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. It was like something from a movie. With tall marble pillars and shiny floor, gold accents, and portraits of random old people that I didn’t know. There were tables where people were already resting and eating and crystal chandeliers that hung from the ceiling. There was still a modern touch with a bar on the other side of the room. 

Classical music was played live by an orchestra, and people waltzed, and slow danced throughout the dance floor. 

The group hung out at a large table after being introduced to a few other affluent families and chatted quietly. We didn’t want to make a ruckus since the atmosphere was pretty soft. It was a bit boring actually.

Soon, Penelope was off waltzing with some guy who sparked her interest, and Emily and JJ were having fun tearing down the dance floor. Spencer was dragged away from Charlotte Vandermills, and Derek went off to flirt with some girls. Hotch and Rossi stayed by the table, talking about current events

I decided to leave and as I maneuvered my way through the huge room, I was stopped multiple times to be asked to dance. I refused all of their offers, and I got some dirty looks because of that, so I think my decision was the right one. I searched around for the bar, normally I don’t drink, but this was a dire situation.

I reached the bar in a few quick strides, thank god there were drinks. I ordered my favorite and stood there awkwardly, warding off another person, and sipping my drink. While drowning in boredom, I almost reconsidered rejecting all those people. I mean, I didn’t get this dress just to stand around. I hummed along to the music, I was a bit fond of music like this, especially after Spencer had introduced me to it. 

A tap on my shoulder caused me to spin around, I opened my mouth to quickly reject whoever it was but stopped when I realized it was Spencer. “Oh, Spencer.” 

His face was a bit flushed and he pointed to the drink in my hand, “You doing okay?” I finished the rest of my beverage and set the glass down on the bar, it was quickly taken by the bartender, “I’m just bored.” Saying thank you to the employee, I promptly paid for my drink. 

“Have you danced at all?” Spencer asked. I shook my head and laid my elbow on the counter, “I rejected those who asked me. Have you?” 

Spencer spoke nervously, “Just with Charlotte Vandermills, I didn’t know how to say no.” I let out a soft chuckle. There was a moment of silence between us, as Spencer shuffled his feel awkwardly. 

He cleared his throat. “Uh - well, can I have this dance?” Spencer held out his hand, inviting me to take it, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but -”

“I would love to.” I took his hand in mine and I felt my face heat up at our sudden closeness. He led me slowly towards the dance floor, we both laughed as we noticed Emily doing the macarena to classical music, ignoring the disgusted looks she was getting. 

We raised our interlinked hands, Spencer wrapped an arm around my waist, I laid my free hand on his shoulder. Nervousness bubbled up in my chest, the thing was, I seriously wasn’t a dancer. Not in the slightest, I couldn’t compare to Emily’s macarena. The best I could do was flop my arms around. 

Spencer seemed to feel my apprehensiveness and tried his best to reassure me, “Here, just follow my lead.” I mirrored his moves as he moved side to side, I was doing quite well for myself. Though granted, every time I had to step forward, I kept stepping on his toes. Luckily Spencer’s a patient person. 

A wince escaped him Spencer, as once again I stepped on his feet. “I’m so sorry Spence,” I sighed. He shook his head, “It’s nothing. Want to try a spin?” My face brightened. Spencer raised our interlinked hands and removed the one on my waist, I spun under his arm, laughing happily. We returned to our original position and I beamed up at him. 

I think after that I got pretty used to slow dancing, I hardly stepped on Spencer’s feet anymore. Our movements quickened and the last few moments, I was suddenly dipped and panic came over me, was I about to fall? Instead, Spencer’s face was smiling down at me, and at that moment, my fright was gone and I broke out laughing. He brought me back up. “You Spencer Reid, are surprisingly a good dancer,” I said, still stifling my chuckles. 

“When I was younger, my mom took me to dance classes because I was so clumsy,” He explained. I started snickering, “Oh right! I remember she used to call you ‘Crash’! She told me once.” He grew red and looked behind me, “Anyways, uh - I saw something when I was dancing with Charlotte, you want to come see it with me?” 

I shrugged, “Why not?” I linked my arm in Spencer’s, and he dragged me towards an open door, the sound of classical music becoming distant. The cold air pricked at my exposed arms as I reached the railing of the balcony. From the view, you could see other towering buildings and twinkling lights that came from the windows. Looking down, tiny cars zoomed by their car lights looking like blurs. The night sky was starless, but nevertheless still beautiful.

“Everything looks so pretty,” I breathed, shivering. A coat was draped over my arms, glancing at Spencer, he was now coatless. I blushed at the cliche, but sweet action. 

Silence fell over us, but it wasn’t awkward, it was actually comforting. It was quiet out on the large balcony, there were only a few other people who were chatting quietly. 

“So,” I began, “How often do you dance now?” I mentally hit myself for that stupid question. “Not that often,” he said simply turning to look at me. “Aren’t you cold?” I asked after a few moments. 

He smiled, “Don’t worry about me, you have to look out for yourself.” I rubbed my arms and beamed at him, “Thanks, you’re a sweetheart. You know that?”

“Now I do,” Spencer chuckled, his eyes gazed into mine and flickered to my lips, and there was a moment of uncertainty on what was going to happen next. My pulse began to race as he began to lean forward. Was this really happening? This can’t be a dream, it felt too real. 

I closed my eyes and my breath hitched, but there was nothing. Opening my eyes, I blinked questionably, Spencer was now rubbing his face, “I’m sorry.” My heart dropped. We both turned back to look at the horizon, and another round of silence came over us, but this time, it was awkward. 

~

“So he just didn’t kiss you?” Penelope asked for the third time. I lounged on my hotel bed and nodded gloomily. Penelope shuffled angrily on her seat on the floor. Emily scoffed from the couch, “Cmon! Seriously, I’m this close to going to his room and yelling at him.”

JJ rubbed Emily’s shoulder, “Maybe he got too nervous. He’s not the most social person after all.” I shrugged, replaying the scene in my head. We had left each other with the most awkward good-byes and went back to the hotel without a second glance. Now I was telling my friends everything that occurred in my pajamas. 

I groaned into my pillow, “I really excited when he started leaning in, but then nothing!” Penelope gave me a sympathetic look, “Well, at least you know that maybe he feels the same as you.” 

Emily stood up to sit by me, “You know, I promised not to tell you this, but Spencer really does like you, like a lot. Seriously, he gushes about you more than he does about Star Wars.” 

“Really?” I laid on my back, has he really been interested him me for that long? Emily nodded, “Yeah, I’m his best friend, obviously, so he tells me everything, and I mean everything.” I smiled back up at her. 

Penelope spoke up, “You should do it. If he’s not going to be brave enough to kiss you, maybe you should do it yourself.” My eyes widened as I turned to look at Penelope, “Me? I don’t know. How would I even do it?” JJ came over to lay next to Penelope, “I think you should just knock on his door, and do it.” 

I glanced at the clock on the bedside table, 12:26 p.m, “Don’t you think it’s a bit late?” 

JJ snorted, “Spencer is basically awake 24/7, it’s kinda his thing.” I gritted my teeth, if I do it now, I could get answers. Also, I do have an excuse, his blazer was sitting on the dresser, waiting to return back to its owner. A surge of confidence flowed through me and I sat up, “Okay, I’ll do it.” 

Penelope clapped, “Yas!” Emily grinned at me, “Good luck.” 

“Thanks,” I grabbed the blazer from the dresser. “Tell us everything afterward!” JJ reminded, “Every single detail.” I gave her a thumbs up and headed towards the door. “Can I eat your leftover food?” Emily called out to me. 

“Only if you put it back when you’re done,” I shut the door behind me and went down the halls to find a certain door. Butterflies flew in my stomach as I searched the hallways. Reaching Spencer’s door, I took a deep breath and knocked. 

The door opened a few seconds later, to revel, Spencer, still in his dress shirt, his hair was now rather messy. “Hi,” I said stiffly. He raised his hand in a wave. 

“I realized I still had your blazer, so I thought I would give it to you.” I handed him his blazer and I tittered in the spot for a few moments. “Thanks,” he replied, placing the coat on the dresser behind him, “I appreciate it.” The awkward air was thick between us, and that only made me more nervous. 

Maybe I shouldn’t do it, it’s too risky. Oh god! I can chase after unsubs and face life-threatening situations, but why can’t I gain the courage to do this? What is so hard about this? 

Okay, perhaps I should do it when we get home. That seems like a good idea, I don’t know why it’s such a good idea, but it feels right. The girls are going to be so disappointed in me. I mentally prepared myself for the groans from them and pursed my lips, “I better go…” I turned to leave but an arm grasped mine, stopping me. “Wait.” 

“Yeah?” my eyebrows raised curiously at him. I watched as his gaze dropped to my lips, and I sucked in a breath. I stepped closer towards him. Then, in a flash, his lips were on mine and my stomach flipped. I froze against his grasp, startled. Spencer pulled back suddenly avoiding my eyes and shook his head hastily, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t ha-” 

Not letting him finish, I crashed my lips back on his cupping his face. An arm wrapped around my waist, as I was pulled into the room. He kissed me soundly, and the door was shut behind me.


End file.
